101 Ways to Move From Victim to Survivor to Thriver

The cold hard fact is that far too many of us are going through pain. I know, I’ve spoken to enough of you about it. But if you know me, even after you’ve seen my documentary and read my book about it and heard me speak – you know that I am all about moving on. Yes, life is hard and the worst nightmare – child sexual abuse – is so prevalent it can make you ill. But I believe that the more survivors and loved ones of survivors heal and move forward, the more we will end the epidemic by not repeating it.

The majority of people who read my blog and know me from speaking gigs have told me that me speaking about moving on (and doing it with cursing and laughter) is way they love me. Ah, I love you too! Those who hate what I talk about will always be haters and should read this list too. A DM from a Twitter friend promoted this list by asking me, surprised, if I really had moved on from my story and how in the world I did it. Here you go!

101 Ways to Move From Victim to Survivor to Thriver

1. Tell Your Story Out Load.  Seriously.  Tell it, purge it, cry for days if you need to but get it out.
2. If You’re In Crisis – Get Help.
3. Write a Rant Letter to your abuser.  Don’t send it.  Just write it.  Most abusers don’t care about your healing anyway.  Your healing is for you, not them. Tell them to go F themselves in a long ranting letter.
4. Find a Therapist You Trust.   Forget thinking you will hurt someone’s feelings.  If you meet with a therapist who you can’t stand or give you the creeps – ask for a new one from your insurance provider (if you have insurance).
5. If you don’t have insurance, Find a Therapist through your local college.  There are psychology departments with students who have to have a certain amount of therapy hours – use them up!  Talk their ears off.
6. Try TFT Tapping to get out of Panic Attacks! 
7. Find Therapy Online.
8. Realize that Your Story is NOT Your Identity.  Thinking that your story is what defines you can be addictive.  Don’t be an addict.
9. Try Accupuncture.
10. Discover a Meditation or Prayer Practice that works for you.  Knowing you
11. Go through the steps of the Be Your Own Hero Workbook.  Really fill out each page.  Go through it with your therapist.
12. Purge Rage Physically.  Do something that involves yelling and moving your body like martial arts, killer bike rides, or dance.
13. Try another Tapping Technique to Stop Anxiety.
14. Try Harp Therapy.
15. Write Yourself a Letter of Forgiveness.  That’s right.  Forgive yourself for the hell you put yourself through because of what someone else did to you.  You deserve a letter.  Mail it to yourself too.  It’s fun to get nice mail like that.
16. Take Your Sex Life Back.  Just because you went through a trauma does not mean that the abuser or abusers need to take away a good sex life for the rest of your life.  F Them!
17. Do something you always wanted to do when you were a kid and couldn’t.  For example, did that jerk take away your PlayDo station and smash it?  Go get yourself a PlayDo station and play!
18. Take the 30 Day Healing Journey.  Get an email every day for 30 Days to help you down the path of healing.
19. Scream.  Seriously.  Set up a scream closet.  Go inside, push all of your clothes together, stick your face in there and scream.  I came out laughing every time I did that.
20. If you still have Anxiety or Panic Attacks, Make them Stop! 
21. Try NMT - My personal favorite.
22. Dance!  Stop abuse yourself and dance.  Here’s a great story about that very thing!
23. Get away from the abuser.  Seems like a simple one but many people still hang out, visit and try to constantly reconnect with their abuser.  Cut him or her loose.
24. Recognize that your experience is like being pierced with a sword - and you can remove it!
25. Start a Blog.
26. Try a TFT Tapping Technique to visualize yourself free of pain.
27. Do Something Fun, something that makes you LAUGH!
28. Try EMDR Therapy.
29. Leave the Old Story Behind.  Feel the fear of moving forward into the unknown and Do It Anyway!
30. Get Grounded.  Find out what therapists mean when they say grounded.
31. Feed Your Brain.  Learn New Things.
32. Read The Courage to Heal.
33. Take a Parenting Class or Read a Parenting Book and Apply it all To Yourself!
34. Find Closure.
35. Break Your Pattern of Attracting the Same kind of Jerk as a Mate!!  (That’s what Will Date 4 Food is about)
36. Have a Confrontation if you need it.
37. Talk about your Present and your Future!
38. Do Theater.  Get on stage and act.  Purge pain through art it like Warrior Theater. 
39. Spend Time in Nature – the Great Healer.
40. Channel any rage, anger, fear, doubt or worry into a healthy energetic release like air guitar or drums.
41. Ignore those who get mad at you for moving on.
42. Make a Movie.
43. Stop Saying Negative Things to Yourself in Your Head.  Quit.
44. Replace all Negative Speak with Loving, Gushy Sweetness to Yourself (It’s in your head, no one can hear it)
45. Take Hold of Your Triggers!
46. Smell Something Wonderful – smells can evoke emotions and bring you to a calming place.
47. Spend Time with Animals.  Volunteer to walk to the dogs at the shelter.  They love that.
48. Rewrite Your Story.  Put in a Happy Ending.
49. Try Giggle Therapy.
50. Make a Vision Board.
51. Sleep Well.  Keep a Dream Journal.
52. Stop Slouching and Stooping.  Stand up straight and tall – you are a wonderful person – stand up!
53. Listen to Great Happy Music Often and Sing Along!!
54. Say Affirmations. They Work.
55. Stop Abuse Yourself.  Stop. That means all forms of self abuse and self mutilation.
56. Don’t abuse others just because you were abused.
57. Find Joy! 
58. Create Healthy Relationships after traumatic ones.
59. Connect with Others Who Are Moving On!
60. Retrain Your Brain to Stop Negative Speak.
61. Nurture Yourself.  You’re a Sweet Baby!
62. Take Up Activities that have nothing to do with trauma!
63. Get Off the Forums and Engage in Life OffLine!
64. Read Women, Sex and Addiction (even if you’re a guy)
65. Take Responsibility for Your Own Life.
66. Find a Good Coach.  This is beyond your therapist.  Find someone who is doing what you want to do and ask them to mentor you.
67. Be the Center of Your Community. 
68. Have a healthy safe place to grieve and let it out.
69. Try Art Therapy.
70. Stop Living in a Fantasy World.
71. Find and Utilize Group Therapy sessions, but don’t stay in it for a lifetime.  Get help and move on.
72. Do Something to Make Yourself Proud, something good for you that you’ve always wanted to do. Skydive perhaps?
73. Practice Sword Play and Clear Out Your Energy!
74. Go Through a 12 Step Program.
75. Get to know Your Inner Warrior.
76. Make an Official Commitment with Yourself to Move On
77. Pay Attention to Those Who Have Gone Before You and Try What They Did.
78. Write and Publish a Book.
79. Remove Toxic People From Your Life!
80. Start Gardening.
81. Try Cranio-Sacral Therapy
82. Find Friends Who Lift You Up!
83. Develop Your Creative Gifts.
84. Get Your Story into the Media.
85. Stop Talking About the Past all the time (once you’ve purged your story that is).
86. Learn Pretty Breathing! 
87. Go Back to School for Something You Always Wanted to Learn!
88. Put together a good Tool Kit.
89. Take a Safety Course and get Certified.
90. Move Beyond the 12 Steps
91. Perform a Ritual to Reclaim Your Past (not a creepy ritual, reclaim those too).  Make up your own!
92. Pay Attention to Who You’re Hanging Out With?  Are they in trauma?  Do they lift you up or pull you down?
93. Cleanse Your Address Book!
94. Make a Positive Difference in the Lives of Other Survivors.
95. Have Some Fun.
96. Take Charge of Your OCDs and quit it.
97. Focus on Living a Healthy Life in all aspects from your spiritual health to your physical being.
98. Know that if Others Can Do It - So Can You!
99. Get over Feeling Guilty for Moving On!
100. Work at Peak Performance.  Try a Tapping Technique to Visualize.
101. Smile.  Try it.  Just smile.  You’re pretty and you’re special and you’re worth it.

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