I wanted to address the issue of speaking to the press. I’ve done my share of local and national news. When I’ve done press about my documentary or my first memoir, I’ve heard many producers and journalists say they have a hard time believing my story since I’m so vivacious and happy now. They think it’s unbelievable that I would have lived through abuse. I was asked to cry on national television to show that I was still wounded. When I said that I wasn’t wounded anymore and didn’t feel like crying, I was told they had to see tears. Tears get ratings. Or is it that the media wants to show women as wounded, not as powerful Phoenixes rising from the flames? It got me thinking about media in general and how what you see is not reality. By the way, Reality TV is written and set up.
We’ve reached an age of women and as women begin to step into their power more I think we can stop this nonsense of how we are portrayed in the media. Why do we have to cry and why does our life have to revolve around a guy? I told the producers and journalists that I wanted to talk about where I was at now in my life and how healing had helped me move forward. Apparently that was not good TV for these people. This one producer wanted me to tell how I had tried to commit suicide, even though I hadn’t. She stood behind the camera and told me when she motioned around her heart area, that was my cue to bring on the tears and when she cut at her wrist, that was the cue for me to talk about killing myself. I told her I hadn’t tried to kill myself, but did have some dark depressing thoughts though. She shooed her hand at me and said I should just tell a suicide story anyway. You mean lie about my story? I thought they said they didn’t believe I could have come from such an abusive past because I am so joyful? And then they wanted me to lie about the story to make it worse than it was. She assured me that she didn’t want me to make the story worse, she wanted me to make the affects it had on my life worse. Two of my really good friends were in the audience and could not believe their eyes as they watched me be used like a puppet. At that point, I was new to the game of media and cried when she wanted me to cry. I’m an actress too, I can make my marks and cry on cue. Since then, I’ve been in this game longer and see how it is all orchestrated. Now, despite what I’m told, I am authentic. Although, when you are authentic and real you stand the chance of being edited out. But like I said, the age of women is upon us and I think the times are changing enough to reveal who you really are. Rise Phoenix, rise!
Thank Goddess for the Internet. Hopefully it will remain free and available to us.
