What is with the battle of the sexes’ battle for sex? What’s with all the books and sets of “rules” for men to nail women and women to nail men? In most cases the men are after sex and the women are after money or marriage, at least that’s what the books and the teachers teach. But what are we learning and what are we perpetuating?
To listen to some of these pick up artist players, you’d think a woman was a horse to be tamed and ridden and kept in a stall. There are whole courses on what to do if she resists, how to pull her back in, how to woo her with words or in some cases you’re told just to grab her ’cause some girls like that.’ WTF. Really? My heart goes out to the good guys out there who are scratching their heads every time they see a jerk get the gal. The same goes for the women chasing the men with their list of “rules” on how to land them. Are men just a wallet and ring bearers? I’ve read those books and I am certainly a rule breaker. I can’t keep my mouth shut and I can’t quiet down to be sure the man is not intimated by me. Can’t do it. Fail. And that’s a good thing because there are good guys out there who don’t pull this crap.
Stepping back and looking at this player behavior, it appears to me like many of these pick up artists are sad little boys who hate their mommies for whatever reason. And the women they’re going after are those with daddy issues. The two meet and have an issue party with nothing authentic. It’s almost like their wounded inner children are the ones in the game while their authentic selves are lost and confused. No wonder women keep pushing the good guys aside to go for the jerk, they’re in a pattern. Their fathers were jerks and the mothers of the men pursuing them were jerks which created – jerks. These inauthentic pick up artist players use very similar tactics to catch their prey that abusers use. They cut the women down, say mean things and pretend to not like them at all so the women chase after them for the affection. It is the push pull make you crazy game and it sounds awfully similar to many of the abusers! The player is hitching his ride (and making the woman pay for it too) right up to the back of a long list of core issues. You might say that’s bull since most women don’t have father issues, right? Really? And men don’t have mommy issues? Really? Child sexual abuse is an epidemic. There are over 39 million survivors in the states alone and the victims and abusers are all genders. Believe me, you could toss a coin in the bar you’re in and it would land on a survivor.
When you’re stuck in your core issues though, it’s almost impossible to see that good guy (or good gal). It’s like they’re invisible and the pick up artist players have a golden spotlight on their heads.
Beware of the player just like beware of the abuser. The good guys are the real catch. The good guys don’t always have the savvy pick up lines or the velvet tongue to get into your pants and your purse. The good guys are authentic. But what happens when the players are teaching men techniques on how to land you? What happens if women are so focused on getting money and marriage that they forget about the relationship? You have a whole slew of wounded children continuing the cycle of trauma is what happens. Watch out for those who cut down your confidence, tug at your self esteem, insult you, tease you, ‘take you down a peg’ or remind you of that abuser.
When faced with someone they truly fall in love with, players fall on their face and hit rock bottom.
Ode to the nice guys who finish last. I love the nice guys. I appreciate them. I believe that you’ll win the race.
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