Girl, you better write your life!  Boy, you better bust out that bestseller!  Can you hear the coach calling? The number one project I’ve been asked to consult and help on are people writing their books. Seems like everyone wants to act or write – so go do it!

My mom is on the radio talking about writing this Friday afternoon at 1pm Pacific, 4pm Eastern

MAIN-FM 103.5 LP – 1/21/2011

http://main-fm.org/

Click in the upper left hand corner to listen on your computer.

She reads an article she wrote, talks about keeping a journal and how anyone can write.

Write Your Book

Here’s a video from when I was doing my Sunday shows.  This one is about staring your book.  It’s about an hour long, scroll around and use what works for you.

In this video I talk about using the Warrior Workbook in your creative life too, outside of using it to heal from trauma.  The concept of removing the sword, healing the wound and using the sword can be applied to many things – even writer’s block!

You can download the workbook here. A hardcover version will be available soon in bookstores and on Amazon.

Life is perpetually evolving and you get to write your life’s script as you see fit!  You’re the lead of your own story.

In 2011, along with many others, I am making many transitions. I finished writing two scripts last year, but instead of sitting on my hands and waiting while they are funded, casts are available, contracts are done, and the ever present paperwork is finished so the fun can begin, I’m working on new projects.

Writing is rewriting and just like in life, the gems are in the rewrite.  Sometimes it seems daunting and overwhelming, especially when you’re a hundred pages in and decide to change something that will affect the whole thing like knocking over a long line of dominoes.  But just like in life, sometimes you have to get rid of certain people, purge certain emotions and redo that ending – again.

I saw this new writing workshop with Ellen Bass pop into my inbox and I had to share it below.  Ellen Bass co-authored The Courage to Heal with Laura Davis, which is like the bible to incest survivors or the big book to members of AA.  I met Ellen and Laura at a book signing after they included my documentary and book in the resource section.  It was a wonderful pleasure!

Ellen and I talked about moving on from trauma and how difficult it is when people put you into that “trauma box.”  She said she just kept writing poetry and doing workshops on writing until she slowly removed herself from the 24/7 trauma work.   We talked about how important that was since the whole point was creating examples to inspire survivors to move on, not urge people to stay stuck in old stuff.  Hallelujah!

I had the pleasure of receiving a holiday email from a survivor who met me when I first came into the trauma and recovery world with my documentary.  He told me that ever since then he had stopped self-mutilating, was going back to school and living a much more fulfilled life.  He apologized for not being around on my Facebook page or website in a while since he had left it all to go live his life.  I was elated.  That’s the whole point, I told him.  I’m not in the trauma world either, I just made a movie and wrote about how making that movie changed my life.  The whole point is to move on.  I will write many other things through my life that have nothing to do with trauma  (and I’ll put it on my Facebook page too).  He messaged me back, glad to hear that I had moved on too.  “Go live your life,” he wrote.  “You just need to live on so that we can reference the person that made it.”

So, in the spirit of moving on and writing yourself a new life, below is the information for an upcoming writing workshop with Ellen Bass.  If you are able to attend, I highly recommend it.

THE WRITING LIFE

with Ellen Bass

January 28-30, 2011

Esalen, Big Sur

www.esalen.org The wonder of the place itself, 120 acres of fertile land carved out between mountain and ocean, blessed by a cascading canyon stream and hot mineral springs gushing out of a seaside cliff. There is the salty Big Sur air on an early morning in January, the late afternoon sun slipping into the Pacific, the riot of midnight stars. There are nights so clear the Milky Way can light your walk along the darkened garden path. And always there is the sound of the sea.

There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. And because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.
–Martha Graham

The Workshop

This workshop will help keep the channels open. It will be an inspiring environment in which to write, share our work, and receive supportive feedback. We’ll help each other to become clearer, go deeper, express our feelings and ideas more powerfully.

We will evade, elude, and distract the censors that silence or limit us. We’ll approach our experience from new angles to find the story or poem within the events of our lives. We’ll question the stories we think are true and experience the power of not-knowing and discovery.

If you want to encounter more truth in your poems and stories, if you want to tell that truth in the most beautiful way possible, if you want to craft work that reflects the inextricable marriage of truth and beauty, love and death, the luminous and the ordinary, please join us for this inspiring workshop.

Ellen will talk about the craft of writing (poetry, fiction and creative non-fiction) and we’ll have time to share our work and receive constructive, insightful feedback and guidance.

From beginners to experienced, all writers are welcome. Whether you are interested in poetry, fiction, nonfiction, or journal writing, this workshop will provide an opportunity to explore and expand your writing world.

Esalen fees cover tuition, food and lodging and vary according to accommodations–ranging from $360 to $695 (and more for premium rooms). The sleeping bag space is an incredible bargain and usually goes fast, as do some of the less expensive rooms, so it’s good to register early. Some work-scholarship assistance is available, as well as small prepayment discounts and senior discounts. All arrangements and registration must be made directly with Esalen.

Please register directly with Esalen at 831-667-3005
or at www.esalen.org

Ellen Bass

ELLEN BASS‘s most recent book of poems, The Human Line, was published by Copper Canyon Press in June 2007. She co-edited (with Florence Howe) the groundbreaking No More Masks! An Anthology of Poems by Women (Doubleday, 1973), has published several volumes of poetry, including Mules of Love (BOA, 2002) which won the Lambda Literary Award. Her poems have appeared in many magazines, including The Atlantic, The Progressive, The American Poetry Review, The New Republic, The Kenyon Review, and The Sun. She was awarded the Elliston Book Award for Poetry from the University of Cincinnati, Nimrod/Hardman’s Pablo Neruda Prize, The Missouri Review’s Larry Levis Award, the Greensboro Poetry Prize, the New Letters Poetry Prize, the Chautauqua Poetry Prize, a Pushcart Prize, and a Fellowship from the California Arts Council. She is also co-author of Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth (HarperCollins 1996) and The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse (Harper Collins 1988, 2008), which has sold over a million copies and has been translated into ten languages. She teaches in many beautiful locations and at Pacific University’s MFA Program in Oregon.

This past week I was away at a spiritual retreat in the mountains that was so moving that I will for sure be sharing about it over the next few days, weeks, months and years. I got quite a few queries from you (the readers of my blog) wondering where I was this past week. I didn’t have wifi!

The most perfect bookend to almost a decade of trauma work happened though. The two that I spoke of at the end of my re-covered book met each other. I spoke about it in the talk I did at the last 140 Conference.

Here’s the Blip link too.

I’m still in awe about all of the connections made and how Spirit plays chess. I look forward to sharing the next chapters.

Here is the talk I did that the 2010 TED X in Asheville!

See how you can squish yourself or someone else today.  Just try it.  It works.

Here’s the “I heart you squish” T-shirts. The backwards one is great so you can see it in the mirror.  It’s a great way to start a conversation.

How much time to you spend on negative stuff?  Thinking about it, talking about it, worrying about it?   Squish works in so many ways to change those thought patterns and actually “squish” them away.   I’d love to know how you use it and how it helps.  Please comment about your squish-abilities!

A comment came in on my Home Page from volunteer at TEDxAsheville who said: just wanted to let you know that your talk was GREAT! Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I swear I’m not some woo-woo crazy Asheville hippie, but I wanted to share a dream I had last night. Doc Hendley gave you a canning kettle full of butterflies in various stages of butterfly-ization. You opened up the kettle and laughed this amazing, belly-full laugh and all the caterpillars jumped up on your arms, and the butterflies were flying around your head while you skipped around the room. It was amazing. I hope you’ve learned to see yourself as you appear to the rest of the world. I’m still shedding all my cocoons, but you definitely seem to be a butterfly. You are such an inspiration! Thanks for being your squishy self.

WOW! I just had to repost that. First of all Doc Hendley is not only hot as hell (and married with children), he is one of the good men out doing good things in the world.  It’s a honor to be in the same dream as him and speaking at the same event.  He founded Wine to Water – non-profit aid organization focused on providing clean water to needy people around the world.

As it says on the TEDx site: Doc Hendley /henˈlēⁿ/ 1 : founder and president of Wine To Water 2 : named one of the Top 10 CNN Heroes for 2009 3 : calls himself proof that anyone, even a tattooed keg-tapper, can cure what ails the world.

The fact that he and I were in a dream together is such a great metaphor for me.  Both of us are “setting butterflies free” from totally different worlds.   We spent some time talking at the event and he is an extraordinary man as in extra-ordinary too. He even toasted a glass of water to the audience at the end of his talk and pointed out what a “nobody” could do since he went from a bartender to a hero by following a dream.

Speaking of dreams and butterflies – they play a significant part in things I’ve been writing recently!  Devon’s dream was a great little “keep dreaming and keep writing ” poke.   Plus, it propelled me back into a memory from when I was about three and had collected a whole jar full of fireflies with my brother and sister and who opened the lid in the house?  Me!!

Here’s something lovely ~

Angela Shelton and John Fugelsang

My friend John Fugelsang has inspired me, as usual. He told me how he was so not into social networking at first but began using his Facebook Page as a way to do his Morning Pages.  Ah, clever chap, I said!   But wow, if you were to see my journals, you may wonder what planet I came here from since my interests range from naked singularities to riding my bike straight into a dust storm.

Ever since making my doc, my life has been right there in the open. Believe me, I spent many a night and day thinking of taking a running flying leap off the nearest cliff while editing that film.  (I did learn to edit on the Avid by the way.  Kudos to me!)  But I wanted to be on Saturday Night Life, not talk about trauma and recovery for years!  But life is funny and I think that joke is very true – How do you make God laugh? You tell him your plans. I had lots of plans for that documentary and most of them came true but in ways I never would have imagined.  As far as how my life went, I certainly had to learn detachment.

That documentary changed my life and taught me to really love people.  That’s why I talk about I love you, squish! The doc paved the road to the squish T-shirt (one is backwards so you can see it in the mirror).  And holywow, the things I learned, from the ins and outs of victims and perpetrators to being an indie fimmaker and producer in Hollywood.

Despite making God laugh with my plans, making it through hard lessons, leeches, zombies, plates shifting, worlds colliding and plans changing – I continue to have lots of dreams, visions and goals even if I do make God giggle.

Why not share the next phase (and maybe every phase) of my life since I’ve already shared my past, my family, my healing, my turmoil, heartache and pain?  Jeez.  I was told by one of my wackadoodle healers that my life is my teaching.  Well, I think it’s about time for some seriously recess!  I went through the murky waters of feeling bad that I am so happy when so many others are not.  Then I wrote on the Survivor Manual about Moving Beyond Survivor Guilt. I’d love to share what I’m working on but I cannot at the moment; top secret!  But I can share what I’m personally working on which is living a joyful life.

So inspired by my friend John, I’ll share my vision boards and the next phase of my life right out in the open.  Hold onto your hats.

Warrior Workbbook

Oh, the things I’m writing about now that my life is no longer about the past!  I feel like doing a happy dance.  But I’m still like, ah… well, wow… what do I share?  I’d love to share my thoughts on science and spirituality but is that too much?  I’d love to share bits of the scripts I’m writing but…

While pondering this, I actually just went back to the workbook I wrote to help people make their way out of trauma and into joyful living.  There’s something profound about using your own tools and practicing what you preach.  What stood out to me in the workbook (The Warrior Workbook) was the portion where you write a letter from your inner child to yourself about what your inner child wants to do next.

My inner child wants to dance, ride her bike, play dress up and talk about magical blue lights.  So, I may just be doing that next.  I’m curious to know what you’d write about and how the end of the workbook, not the beginning, strikes you or uplifts you.

And by the way, though I’m not talking about trauma and healing 24/7, I am still involved in helping organizations I love and support and I got John Fugelsang to be the MC at the annual Gala for Darkness to Light!

I’m sending out more newsletters as well now so sign up if you like me.

I just spoke at TEDx in Asheville and what a wonderful experience! The music was fantastic. I loved all the speakers.  The high bright energy was contagious. It was a great night.  A huge bonus is that they played the below video during a portion of it and I discovered one of my new favorite people.  I don’t think that putting people on pedestals is a good idea since everyone has gas.  Perhaps we should pick a bright spotlight or a halo glow or a special carpet maybe.  That being said, Adora Svitak is in that spotlight for me.

Adora Svitak

Wow, what we can all learn from children!  I do a standing ovation just watching this on my laptop.

I adore her and I adore her parents.

Wake UP! Radio with Ryan and Fuzz asked me to be on as a guest to talk about my documentary and I was like ah….. not again! I’ve spoken so much about that movie that I’m blue in the face.

You can see most of my speaking gigs for free on Survivor Manual, you can get the DVD, you can read the book I wrote about how making the movie changed my life forever – do I really have to talk about it again?

But then Ryan mentioned he wanted to talk about the spiritual journey that I went on. Now, that is something I like to talk about along with the ins and outs of indie filmmaking.   It was very fun to sit down with Ryan and Fuzz.  I love that they are talking about exploring your passion!

Some people get so freaked out about Mercury Retrograde and others think it’s just a bunch of hocus-pocus. Whatever you think about the planet and it’s doings, it’s a good time to back up your cell phone and your computer, get organized and keep an eye out for those you haven’t seen in forever.

I love reading about astrology and I love numerology too (I am my mother’s daughter) but I don’t believe in living your life by it; it’s like reading about the weather – that too can change and the weatherman could be totally wrong.  It seems like most people want to know what’s “in the heavens.” People are fascinated about knowing the future and having a road map for their lives. Some people even post their horoscopes on twitter daily. I thought I’d share some ideas about this MR time.

What is Mercury Retrograde?

The planet Mercury slows down and appears to stop and move backward aka retrograde.  It doesn’t actually go backwards, it just appears too.  There is always forward movement.

Mercury rules communication so when it recedes, it’s said that things having to do with communication go completely nuts. For example, all your contacts in your cell or computer are erased, emails go missing or are bounced back, mail is returned or not delivered at all, calls are not returned or never arrive into voice mail etc etc. I have no idea if this has ever been proven, but it’s interesting to watch how techno-trauma does increase during Mercury Retrograde. It happens four times a year.

Astrologers warn not to sign any contracts during MR time since whatever you sign will also go haywire. There is a loophole though. If it’s something that happened a long time ago and has needed to be taken care of for ages, then signing during MR could work.

Also, blasts from the past happen. The planet is receding so things from the past show up.  People you haven’t seen or spoken to in ages can suddenly appear in your life. When you go out during this time, you may run into that old boyfriend, an friend or the person you so wanted to talk to and were just thinking about suddenly walks into the room.

There can also be miss-communication and delays with people. You could be misunderstood or misquoted.  Your plane could be late or you could miss that bus.  Take some extra time at the airport.  You could also type things incorrectly so it’s recommended that you reread emails and letters before you send them.

This Mercury Retrograde is August 20th-September 12th

Does it really affect you? Is this all poppycock? Who knows. Observe and see what happens. Mercury goes retrograde into different signs apparently. This MR times is going to be in Virgo, which is said to rule well being, health and healing although a lot of astrologers suggest not having any surgeries during MR.

What do you do with your time?

Again, this could all be bologna to some but it’s a good time to observe what does happen.   We are made up of mostly water and the moon affects the tide and certainly affects us – some more than others.  So perhaps this Mercury planet does make things all wonky.  And just to be on the safe side, why don’t you back up your computer which you should really do anyway.

• Get organized – go through old files, boxes, the back of your car…
• Take your time, things will be delayed anyway
• Reflect on what you’re doing with your life
• Pull out old creative projects and reread, rework and re-plot their course
• Think of someone you’d like to run into, it may very well happen
• Since it’s in Virgo, revisit any healing that needs to take place
• Start up that workout routine from ages ago that you stopped doing
• Spend some quality time with yourself – as you computer backs up

I just had a flash of my mother as I wrote this, getting my astrology charts read when I was young.  Oh, the stories.  I’ve heard it all and I believe portions of it.  It’s like religion, politics and a great buffet – take what you like and digests well and leave the rest, somebody will love what you think it inedible and gobble it right up.

Mercury goes direct on the 12th and then there’s bound to be something else in the stars. Oh wait – Mercury’s shadow period begins July 31st and ends September 27th, whatever that means.

I’m eating cake and staring at the moon, then I’m going to organize my office.

Smile! I was recently invited to take part in the Portrait Project to help Smile Train - a portrait project designed to help children around the world smile!  Thought I’d share some of the fun ones.  Let me know if they make you smile!  Make a comment about smiling while you’re smiling.

Here is the photographer Faleena’s project video.  She wants to tour the world with this idea so contact her.  She has a great story of how it all started. Help her out and smile while you’re at it.   http://smileportraitproject.com

Assumptions and judgments can keep you from things you love – that you didn’t even know you loved!

For years I was told about this elusive Burning Man and for years I avoided it due to the rumors that it was a bunch of naked hippies having sex with each other in tents. No thanks, I lived through my childhood already.  But then my BFFD (best friend forever, duh) and I were invited to go and I figured I was safe with her – she’s a tough one. We joined a camp, bought bins, bikes and lights. I had no idea what to expect, I just knew that I wasn’t having sex with anyone and I didn’t want anyone touching me.

All I can say about Burning Man is that the true you is revealed. You enter into the gates of Black Rock City and you step onto another planet. You don’t even use your real name, you are given a name or you acquire one somehow. I was called Queen since I didn’t allow anyone to touch me without my full permission and then maybe they could hug me. Maybe.

Nothing from the “real world” is allowed.  No logos, no ads, not selling anything and no money.  They only money exchange is at center camp for the espresso machine.

There are even mutant vehicles. No car that has any recognizable features as a car is allowed.  It is a world of bicycles (heaven!).  You either ride your bike along the web of streets or catch a ride on a mutant vehicle.

It is an artist’s paradise.  It is an adventure.  And most every art piece is climbable!  I spent most of the time by myself, riding my bike for twenty-five miles a day and climbing art.  You never know what will happen on any given day on the planet of the man – the playa. There may suddenly be a trampoline in front of you, a band of clowns or zombies might be headed your way or a ship may pass by calling you to board it.  Literally.  I was nervous about all the crazy sex and drugs I’d heard about that were there, but the entire experience is a like a drug trip with no drugs necessary!   Like life, you can find whatever you seek.  You can be and do whatever you want, within limits. There is a police department, a medical station and a mutant vehicles DMV.  People dress up and take on new names.  There are dance parties every moment of every day.  It is as hot as the devil in the day and freezing at night.  You must survive, there’s even a survival guide. Most people look like they are straight out of Mad Max. It is the ultimate dress up playtime.

Then there are the dust storms. They come out of nowhere across the playa and cover everything with the thin playa dust that will forever be in your clothes, boots and fingernails.  You can barely see your hand in front of you. You should have your gas mask, goggles and water with you at all times, and hopefully your bike.  You never know when a storm is going to hit.

Some people are afraid of the dust storms and hide in their RVs.  I’m much more of an adventurist; the storms were my favorite part. I was lucky to be in five of them!  My favorite moment, if picking one moment at Burning Man is even possible, was the first massive dust storm that rolled in.  You could see it coming and had about two minutes to prepare.  While people around me zipped up tents, ran to RVs or tightened their goggles, I got on my bike and rode directly into the cloud.   A few others had the same idea and we saw each other and nodded in pockets of clearness, like being in a cloud on another planet.  That’s exactly where we were.

Me and my BFFD had tents right next to each other and we had a notebook that we left in front of our tent to let the other one know what adventures we were on or had just been through.  Best friends are those you can be alone with, literally. There was no babysitting.  Burning Man is not the place to keep time or appointments.  There is no cell service.

You can be whatever you want and whoever you are is revealed.  I was a loner cyclist adventure climber called Queen.  I took on the storms, I climbed, I danced and I rejoiced in the beauty of humanity and art in Black Rock City and nobody touched me inappropriately. 

Oh how I love the man!  I’d go this year but I’m speaking at TEDx in Asheville.