Are you scared to get married?

That was the question today for Q and A Day!

Are You Scared to Get Married?

Me? No. Not me. I’ll tell you why (and how I think I killed a chipmunk) in this video:

I’m super duper excited to get married, but sad that I may have killed that chipmunk.

We are having a hootenanny of a wedding and our guests should be more nervous than us! Haha.

That’s because Costumes are required! Yes, we’re having a dress-up party wedding.

Everyone is taking it really seriously too. Some people are going with the Adult Halloween Costumes and coming all decked out. Some are coming in their hunting attire (hunting for love!) and some are coming really casual – the exact opposite of how they usually need to dress up for weddings.

And the dress up doesn’t have to be like Halloween Costumes, in fact you can go to that site under “seasonal” and then “Thanksgiving” and you can pretty much find anything there that will work for country wedding theme – the Prairie Wagon Train!

A Dress-Up Wedding Party?

Are there chipmunks? I hope not!

Whoever comes in the turkey custom is probably front runner to win the pie!  Yes, there is a contest.

Please dear Lord, don’t let anyone come dressed as a chipmunk.

So, am I scared to get married?

No way.

Do I think I killed that chipmunk? Yes. And it makes me sad.

But my hubby makes me happy, but easing my mind about it.

What are you NOT scared of
and maybe think you would have been?

Related posts:

1. If the Buddha Married… he would have better sex
2. Love & Country Wedding Bells
3. Funny Wedding Registry Story

Do you think Weddings are a RACKET?
I do!  Hahaha – I DO!  Get it?

It’s Q & A Day and I received a question about weddings!

Question:

I LOVE your idea of the wedding book “invite.”  What are some other fun ideas that you’re incorporating into your wedding that do not involve the regular wedding racket?  My fiancee and I are getting married next year, and we want it to be out of the box and FUN.

My Answer:

Thank you for asking. I love our wedding book too! Here are many more ways to have fun and not involve the usual wedding racket:

Number one thing – Don’t Follow Rules except for one:
Number One Rule: Have Fun!

1. Make Fun Invites

“Regular” invites are so ridiculously expensive. Oh lordie. For what we could have paid for frilly fluffy hard to read cursive raised writing notecards, we made 156 page books instead!  Bonus!

I wrote a post all about how we made The Best Wedding Invite Ever!

2. Serve Pies Instead of Cake

Photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/yoursecretadmiral/

Make the food fun too! Instead of a cake (which are crazy pricey!) serve pies!
Or cupcakes. Or a stack of cookies.
Make it fun and delicious!

3. Pick a Fun Theme

What’s the theme of your love? What do you love to do together?

• Watch Kung Fu movies? Make it a Kung Fu theme, gotta come in a uniform.

Where did you meet and/or fall in love?

• Was it at the circus? Make your wedding a carnival theme! No clowns.

Where are you from? Or where to wish you were from?

• Love the South? Make it a Country Wedding!

4. Make it a Dress-Up Party!

Instead of boutonnieres we're tying flies

To elaborate on the theme – make it a dress up ceremony and party!

Everyone  has to come dressed up and that does not mean suits and tie dressed up.  That means full on costume dress up.  That means all of your guests too! It makes it way more fun for everyone. They get really into it too, especially when they know everyone else is going to do it too.

You can even make the dress-up part a requirement for attending!

Our theme is Prairie Wagon Train so in our invite book we had pages about dressing up Wagon Train style. We suggested people dress up in whatever Wagon Train meant to them.  They have really taken it seriously. Some people are coming as Native Americans even, complete with feathered headdresses.

I so cannot wait to share pictures.

Our only rule was that there are no high heels allowed, unless they are boots – as in cowboy boots.

 5. Wear What You Want!

Photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/wildjinjer/

Want to get depressed? Go try on wedding dresses!  I’m dead serious.

I’ve never seen such depressed sad faces as I did on the brides I was sharing the floor with at various wedding gown boutiques. Depressing, I tell you! Depressing. Not only do some of those gowns make you look two hundred pounds bigger than you really are but the color white looks good on…. hmmm…. wait I was going to say Snow White, but she isn’t wearing white either!

And that does not mean you have body issues, either, it means you want to look fantastic and be comfortable. That’s hard to do in a typical wedding gown. Of course if you go with couture, that’s an entirely different story. Go get yourself a Claire Pettibone dress if you can. Lucky lucky girl!

Or if you’d rather have a CAR instead, go with a bridesmaid’s dress and have them make it in whatever color you want.  Yes, you can do that! They also come in white and ivory and cost about 1/10 what a wedding gown does.

I love hearing that wearing color to get married in is becoming more of a tradition. LOVE it!

I’m wearing a green dress. (I’ll share pictures afterwards.)

6. Have the Ceremony and Party at the Same Place

Don’t make people drive to another place. Have it all in the same spot. Then your crazy aunt doesn’t have to sober up. In fact, I attended a wedding once that was a big very fun party and the ceremony was a surprise!

All of the sudden the groom clinked his glass and everyone turned to see what he had to say. Then their friend (who had been ordained for the day) married them. It took all of 4 minutes. We cheered and partied on.

My hubby and I are getting married in a flower field and the big tent with the 6-piece Country Band and BBQ is in the field right next to it! Walk on over with your Mason Jar full of moonshine!

 7. Sell Tickets to Your Event!

World's Columbian Exposition Collection at The Field Museum

Don’t have the money for the whole thing?  Sell tickets to it. Or sell ads in your wedding book.

Gone (or possibly paused) are the days when papa had to pay for his daughter’s wedding.  Sometimes, papa ain’t got no money – Madoff made off with it.  Or papa is a jerk and not in the picture or papa does not support the choice of groom for his bride, or in some cases bride for his bride!  Woooweee!  Breaking Rules!

Your ticket could also be your invite, you know.
You could get really clever with this.

It could be a raffle ticket! 

Sell raffle tickets for whatever price you want and then call out the winner during the reception.
At our wedding, we’re having a dress-up competition. Who has the best Prairie Wagon Train outfit wins a pie!

8. No Assigned Seating

Don’t stress yourself out about who sits where and next to whom and who hates who and who’s a jerk and who’s too much of a lover. Let it be a “sit wherever you want” set up. Give people a reason to mingle.

In fact, instead of place settings, how about name tags?  Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.

You could even play Duck, Duck, Goose!  (See how I snuck some Duck in there?)

9. Register For What You Want & Need

Your registry doesn’t have to be housewares. You could ask for trees! (That’s our new persimmon tree btw)

There is a site called HoneyFund.com that allows people to gift you with parts of your honeymoon. The food, drink and entertainment part that is. For example, you can put an option on there that says “Dinner for two during our honeymoon, 50 bucks” or you could totally switch it up and say “Dinner for two at our wedding! Pony up cousins!”

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially when you’re serving food, drink and have music.

10. Make a Fun Photo Booth

Don’t have all the picture fun be just for you and your love. Get everyone involved!

Depending on your theme, make a photo booth to match. You don’t have to pay for one of those actual photo booths either. We’re painting a big sheet of wood with a fun country scene and propping it up in the trees.

Put the camera on a tripod a few feet away and voila – you have a photo booth! You can have a friend or family member (hopefully a sober one) man the camera or you can trust that whoever is up next will have the prior person snap the picture.

Then collect those photos on a huge photo card, save them (don’t give them away at the wedding) and print them as your thank you cards!

You didn’t have your photo taken, oops, not getting a thank you card!  Even more of an incentive to have some fun!

11. Walk Down the Aisle Together!

And finally, want to really break rules? Walk down the aisle together! You’re both special and pretty. (pretty handsome!)

We are even walking up the path that is facing the seats so everyone doesn’t have to do that turn-around crane-your-neck-to-see the bride (and the groom in this case since we’re walking up together.)

The whole having your father give you away is a tad creepy if you know my family history. (hahaha) And my three adopted dads, well, I couldn’t decide and picking just one would not be fair to the others and it would be really weird if I walked up with three men. Awkward. Although we are talking about breaking rules here!

But again, number one rule of all is to – HAVE FUN!

 What are some ways you broke Wedding Rules?
(and no, I don’t mean divorce)

Related posts:

1. Break the Cycle – Break Glass!
2. Cyber Bullying, Bullies and Annoying Rules in School
3. Love & Country Wedding Bells

Here is my precious Norma dog. I share about her on Facebook too.

Norma, did you make that stinky?
Norma, did you eat that?
You sure you didn’t make that stinky?

Related posts:

1. Love Yourself!!
2. Norma!
3. Me and Norma on our day off!

The question is:

Is it saving in the garden or saving the garden?

There certainly are a lot of life changes happening out in the world right now. I personally think chaos can bring clarity, although I do not buy into fear mongering.  I don’t think it’s time to go dig a hole and put your head in it. I think it’s time for us all to become more connected. (Yay Twitter!)  It’s time to be connected to the Earth, to your souls, to your creativity and to your colon (like I wrote in the last post).

On the fear and panic side, I was urged to watch this movie Collapse, which I did on Netflix.  Here’s the trailer:

Ages ago I would have been really freaked out and scared by that movie and wondering where in the world I was going to move to, and quickly.  But I have since witnessed people who are so convincing to others because of their emotional connection to what they think they know based on their own fears, that they freak people out when they actually don’t have the facts.  I’m not saying there isn’t valuable information in the film, and out in the world for that matter, my point is being clear about facts instead of fear.  There are so many who preach to you until they’re blue in the face, convinced they know all the answers and have “the truth.”  You have to follow your own heart and gather facts for yourself.  I bring that up because I’ve been witnessed it first hand, so I urge to you to take what works for you and leave the rest.  You know what’s best for you if you really listen to your heart and soul.  (maybe I should write about how to get better at that)

That said, the best message I got from the film above is to grow your own food.  For me, that was the best and most important part of the film and is really the only reason I’m bringing the film up!  I think we should learn how to garden for fun, not out of fear.  That is why I’ll be sharing my own process on here!

Grow Your Own Food

My mother and grandmother have the green thumbs. I on the other hand, can write about it.  I’ve rarely stayed in one place long enough to have a garden in my life.  But this year I will and I’ll blog about my trials and errors in an effort to help those of you who are like me, green thumb challenged.

First of all, I’ve written about getting over your fear of starting a garden even if you’re in the city in my Downsizing post.  There are some amazing garden packages on GroOrganic.   I know, some of you will suck in a breath of shock at some of the prices of staring a garden but believe me, it’s cheaper than buying your food in the long run.  Start paying attention to food prices when you visit your market.  They are going up up and away from many budgets, especially fresh produce.  The sad thing is that though fresh veggies and fruits are by far the best choice, yet sometimes the processed ones are simply cheaper.  For many families, the purse is the boss and many forfeit their health for the cheaper food.  But I’m telling you, it can make you sicker in the long run. Spending money on your food and food growth can be categorized under health, wellness and preventative medicine too.  It’s worth it, spend money on your food and wear your clothes another season or ride your bike more to save on gas.  Your food is important.

Savings Tip:

Even though I haven’t broken ground yet on my garden since it’s covered with snow at the moment, I’m paying attention and finding information on ways to save (and to share).

Say AHH: One fun way that all of my RN friends will love is buying a value pack of Tongue Depressors.  Yep, I said that. They are so cheap and you get tons of them. You can use them as markers for your various plant groups by writing on them with permanent market.

That way you don’t do what I have been guilty of and go buy all kinds of expensive fancy things just to make it look pretty.  It will already be pretty, it’s a garden.  Have your children color the wood to make it stand out among the plants.  There’s some good playtime that also helps the household, bonus!

Build it Yourself: If you don’t have the money to buy gardening packages from places like GroOrganic, build it yourself!  Become a little Martha Stewart and blog about how you’re kicking butts with your electric saw.  Or maybe you live where the soil is fantastic and you don’t need to have raised beds.  Start digging!  Well, when the time comes.

Plan Your Patch: Save by planning.   GroOrganic has a garden planner that I’m using that is very inexpensive compared to what you’ll save by planning out your patch.  I’m the first to admit that I’d go out and buy half the store like shopping when I’m hungry. I’d have seeds coming out of my ears, with high hopes and big plans of having the best most beautiful garden in town. Then reality would set in that I just planted enough for a small army and it’s overgrown and a mess.  If you’re like me with that old save-the-world complex, shhhh, be still for a minute.  Start small.  Feed yourself first before you take on feeding the village.  Planning out your patch before you even buy seeds or starter plants is super helpful and if I dare say - necessary.

Can’t wait to get my hands dirty!

Related posts:

1. Saving Bucky!

Seems like we all love Facebook (well, most of us) and even our parents have profiles!  But there are many ways to use FB that you may not know unless you read the many how-tos or follow the Facebook news like any good tech nerd does.  I happen to be a nerd, but even better than that I know many other nerds so I get to learn little tricks usually right when they happen.  One that has been available for awhile is linking to another Facebook profile or a page in your status.  It’s a great way to do a shout-out for someone or something you love.  When you do that, it shows up on both your wall and the wall you love.   It’s very simple and you only use @ in front of the name.

I noticed a few of my friends were asking about how to do that so voila, here’s a video for you.

http://www.youtube.com/angelashelton

Feel free to message me about other things that may trip you up like How in the world do you use Twitter?

I certainly don’t know everything, but I’ll share what I do.

Related posts:

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2. Protect Your Facebook Photos
3. Facebook & Zuckerberg Folly?

By contributor Joann Shelton

It is springtime in the park.  The new leaves on the trees are vibrant green.  Daffodils and narcissi dot the banks of the small lake where ducks have gathered to swim.  The flowers’ exhilarating fragrances beckon memories.  Sounds of quacking ducks, songbirds, and laughing children are carried through the air; and my heart expands as I breathe deeply of the love of life.

Children feed the ducks while proud parents watch from nearby benches in the warm spring glow.  Angela, my four-year old daughter; takes bread from my hand and runs off to join in while I sit with the other parents.

Angela enthusiastically flings pieces of bread into the swarm of quacking ducks.  Soon her little arm loses its rapid rhythm.  The bread is gone.  She begins chasing the baby ducks, attracting the annoyed attention of many parents, who turn to glare at me.

I know Angela will probably start to wail if I physically intervene.  Instead, I start to silently sing HU, an ancient name for God.  I often do this in times of stress to help me remain clam.  I ask what I should do, and open myself to guidance.  Divine Spirit whispers, “Be patient.”

I smile apologetically at the concerned parents as though everything is all right.  Soon Angela stops chasing the ducks and wanders toward me with a pouted lip.

I put my arms around her and ask, “Why are you chasing the ducks?”

“I want to take one home,” she says angrily.

“Well, Angela, if someone was chasing you and trying to take you away from your mother, would you want to go?”

“No,” she admits, looking down at the ground.

In a moment of inspiration, I ask, “Does the little duck know how much you love it?” as I stroke her hair.

She gives no response, so I continue, “If you tell the duck you love it and you will leave it with its mommy, maybe it will let you pet it.”

She looks up at me with her beautiful hazel-green eyes:  pools of familiarity and knowingness.  Suddenly she blurts, “OK,” and quickly runs to the ducks.

Angela squats down and puts her hand on the ground.  Then, to the surprise of everyone, including me, a baby duck walks right into her palm!

The parents and I gape as she pets this tiny, fluffy baby duck.  Time stands still for the exchange of love.

Then the little duck hops off her hand and goes back to its mother.  Angela, beaming with joy, runs to me with outstretched arms.  She hugs me tightly for a long, long time, while parents and children applaud and cheer.

Love touches everyone and everything, as my heart soars on this glorious spring day.  I silently thank the Holy Spirit and sing another HU.

Joann Shelton lives downtown Asheville, NC where she walks everywhere, tweets four letter words @fourletterwords and is finishing Back Road Girl, her autobiography.

Related posts:

1. Angela Shelton on Divine Caroline
2. Turning Pain into Power
3. SECRET SEX TAPES – so much more than creepy

Happy Thanksgiving.  Norma is having a hard time staying inside since all she wants to do is run, jump in the lake, run again.  I put ear muffs on her since she’ll get a sweater too dirty and wet.  She kept the ear muffs on, didn’t even shake her head.  I’ll try to get her to stay still for some more pics.

Watch the Happy Turkey Day video for some laughs along with blast from the past.

Have a lovely day with people you love!

Related posts:

1. Thanksgiving Trouble & Turnips
2. Don’t Squash Queens or Buy Conflict Diamonds ~ Happy Valentines Day
3. Happy Valentine’s Day to All the Good Men in the World. I Love You!

Oh I just had to share this one.  There is always truth in comedy. Why oh why are people stuck in repeated cycles? I know, I know! (she says with her hand eagerly raised)

Perhaps comedy can help.

Break-ups: The Series — Tim & Emily from Ted Tremper on Vimeo.

Watch the series on Breakups.us!

Related posts:

1. Angela Shelton on Comedy Nation
2. Angela Shelton with Comedy Nation at Cafe Muse in LA
3. Ode to Facebook on Comedy Nation

Have you ever had someone tell you that they “just know” what you should be doing with your life?  They say they have a feeling, a hit, an intuition about what you should or should not do with your career, love life or relationships.   I’ve heard some crazy stories of sociopaths gaining control over people that way.  I had an experience with a guy who said he had my entire life figured out.

“You shouldn’t marry that guy.  He’s not the right guy for you,” he said and then gave a long dramatic pause while I let that sink in.  I wasn’t letting anything sink in, I was wondering what in the world he was talking about and then realized I had on the ring that I wrote about. Ah, dude, I bought this myself to make a point. But I didn’t say anything and just let him continue.

“I’m intuitive and I can tell you right now that I’m getting the nudge to warn you not to marry this guy. He’s not right for you.  Now, I can talk to you and be there for you. You need someone who is spiritually connected.”  Then he proceeded to get angry.  “I know you’re just with this guy for his money (cue my inner belly laugh), but he’s not right for you.  You know, the thing is, is that you don’t know what’s right for you.  You’re not listening to your inner gut because you don’t know how to.  You need to listen to what I’m saying.  You don’t know what you need.  You’re confused about everything and need some guidance. You know, I do mentor people.  I can tell you right now that I have very strong intuition that you should not marry this guy. He will just take you and not let you be yourself anymore. He will lock you away (ah, you talking about yourself buddy?), he will not let you shine. I will let you shine.”

Some intuition dude.  This isn’t even a real diamond.

It made me think of the stud Dimitri and his “knowledge” about women:

All I can say is listen to your own intuition, love up on the healthy people in your life and send them thank you cards.  Take notes when crazy stuff like this happens because it can sure inspire a giggle, or at least some amazement about crazy people.

While watching Ohdoctah on his Wednesday show, the topic came up of how to be a better person.  I think the key is following The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book of Be Impeccable with Your Word, Don’t Take Things Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions and Do Your Best but I’ll add some more.

1. Be Healed ~ Don’t be a Sick Jerk

It is far too easy to take things personally when you are still caught up in old drama from your childhood, a relationship gone bad, the last election or whatever else you’re still holding onto.  People who have not healed pull down shades and see new experiences through old fears, anxieties and pain and all it does is repeat the cycles they think they are trying to avoid.  Pull up the old shades and see life with clear eyes.  Healing is possible and there are plenty of pathways out there. Find your own path to healing and realize that you’re not the only person in the world going through pain.  You have the power to create a new reality when you are healthy in body, mind and spirit.  Do it.  Keeping your issues alive only makes it difficult for you and for everyone else around you.   You can do better for the planet by healing yourself and then inspiring others to do the same.  You are that powerful, so be healed!

2. Make More Love

Duh. Love makes the world go round, do more of it.  Making love doesn’t always mean having sex either.  Hug more.  Smile at someone on the street. Be nice. Do loving things like plant a garden. Dive deep within your soul and find what you really love to do creatively and do it.  Paint a picture and give it as a gift.  Take photos of beautiful places and share them.  Tell someone that you love that you love them.  Send nice tweets.  Call your mother (except those of you raised by wolves – in that case adopt a new good mom and call her).

3. Send Thank You Cards

It takes very little time to send a handwritten thank you note to someone who you met, who helped you, or who you just like.  You can write on someone’s Facebook wall too, but there’s nothing like an old fashioned hand written note.  If you forgot how to write by hand, practice.

4. Do Something that Helps the World

Stop complaining and do something useful.  There are far too many people spending far too much time complaining about what’s wrong with the world or how they were wronged by something or someone and they take up too much air and Internet space.  You don’t have to start your own organization, you can go volunteer at one that you like.  Leave an abusive relationship.  Stop abusing people.  Learn a new trade.  Learn a language and travel to expand your mind.  Do not procreate if you are unhealthy.  Mentor a teenager.  Stop using plastic straws.  Don’t ask for a plastic bag.  Ride your bike.

5. Repeat Steps 1-4

Repeat the steps like you would repeat an affirmation until suddenly you’re like – Wow, I’m a better person and I like myself and the world around me!  Thank Goddess.

Related posts:

1. 10 Ways to Say You’re Not Interested (or NO)

Ever wondered why things seem to disrupt in your life when things are all the sudden going wonderfully? When you decide to move forward and into a new paradigm, sometimes all hell breaks loose.

Rev. Beckwith speaks so well about that disruption.  Watch the whole thing or fast forward to his speech.   So inspiring!  There is lovely moment between a couple about to get married too.  I love this service.

Do you have a big ego? I’ve certainly been accused of it. I mean, do have AngelaShelton.com. I just saw that quite a few people bought I heart Angela Shelton shirts and it made me ponder ego since I’ve heard from oh about four haters about how I have such a big ego and don’t care about anyone but myself, especially due to the fact that there are those shirts on my site.  I wear mine with a grin by the way because of the story behind it.

Cathy Brooks talks about what Ego and Responsibility and being careful what you share on the world wide web or what I call the Bizarre Bazaar. I actually love when I hear haters say that I’m an egomaniac because when they find out the truth behind why that logo exists in the first place, it can a big pill to swallow.  In the vein of watching what you do and do not share online, I’ve shared oh, pretty much everything outside of my private love life.  After traveling with my doc and my book for years I shared on stage that I was a self-mutilator and I committed to ending self-abuse. That’s when I was gifted with that I heart Angela Shelton logo.  My friend Jennifer Welker jazzed it up a bit and that’s the one on the store.  For me that logo has such a deeper beautiful meaning because I kept my commitment. I haven’t hurt myself in over six years and I’m wear my shirt proudly.

My documentary is one of many projects I’ve made and I have plenty more to come, but that doc has a lovely spot on the shelf of my creations, although I’ve always said and will continue to say that Searching for Angela Shelton came not from me, but from Spirit. I was certainly channeling something very deep when that project was born and it’s an honor to have changed my name years ago to Angela Shelton.  Making that movie sent me through the ringer, caused me to lose everything from some so-called friends, all my savings, my house, and almost my life.  It also lead me down a path of healing, as it has done for many, and has made me better artist. As I create new projects, the healing that was caused by that movie stays with me.  For the people who have followed the journey, it gives me great joy to show victims of abuse that there is a time when you move on and the trauma is no longer a part of your life.  I see those shirts and I think about that time long ago, when I used to hate myself and had to deal with so much crap from the past.  Now, my past trauma doesn’t even come up in my life.  Life continues to get better and joy is endless and by the way, it’s abundant and there is no limit to love, joy and happiness. There’s enough to go around. It’s not like one person heals and takes the lottery ticket for others, living a life full of glee is possible for all.  It’s a matter of making a choice and a commitment.  I am so grateful to those who have followed this journey from the beginning, who know me and understand my bigger plans.

Thank you to those who sport the shirts, I love Angela Shelton too.  Thank you.