Why Are You So Lonely?


by Angela Shelton

Happy Days are here again! Well, happy days are always here if you want them to be, no matter what, since you can choose happiness.

After coming down from the best week of my life, and days before that having to watch the passing of my sweet love, Norma, I am now back online. I took a little break as you could tell if you check in on my blog often. Where’s Angela? She’s offline expressing a myriad of emotions!

I’m coming back online to lots of questions. One of them struck me as an interesting one to tackle after being around so many of my wonderful friends.

Here goes Q and A Day!

Question:

I’ve read that your mission is to help people to enjoy life no matter what they’ve been through. Is that correct? I have a question about fighting loneliness. How do you fight lonelieness if you are unable to establish contact with your friends, even on an online chat website.

Answer:

First of all no one really has 4000 friends on Facebook, it’s just not possible. If you are looking to a website to make friends, I’d tell you to get offline ASAP.

Don’t get me wrong, social media is an amazing place to meet people if you go meet them. That’s why they have 140 Conferences and MeetUps all over the place. You need to get offline to meet your online friends. And that means the people you have established a connection with, not stalking big tweeters. Don’t freak people out.

If you stay online looking for friends, well, you may never leave your mom’s basement.

Harsh? Yes, I can be when it comes to living a life you love! Because sking about loneliness is all in your head. Yes, it’s true. It’s all about you and has nothing to do with connecting with others. Why? Because you have to like you and be your own friend before you can attract other friends!

The same goes for love. It’s pretty difficult to find a perfect mate for you if you don’t have love for yourself.  And I’m not talking about conceited love like Ryan on the Bachelorette (yes, I just referenced that!) I’m talking about genuine love for yourself – which is love for all actually if you look at it in a spiritual sense.

So I say to you – go friend yourself!  There is no fighting loneliness. There is being your own friend. The very fact that you worded it as “fighting loneliness” puts you in a defensive and/or offensive position. That’s how you lose friends, not make them. Take the word fighting out of the sentence.

If you don’t friend yourself, get to know yourself, know what you like to do for fun and have respect for your own time and energy you may take online connections WAY too seriously.  You may become a recluse and lose your people skills. You may take people’s reactions to you in life way too personally and lash out at them.

When you friend yourself, your quest to get over loneliness will go away. Sound too easy? It is! Stop fighting it and be your own friend.

Plus, once you friend yourself and get offline and go live and do things you love to do – you meet other people who love what you love and guess what – you make friends!

 

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  • ThePishPosh

    This is great advice!! :) We each have to take responsibility for what we put out there. If we are grieving or sad, and it seems to push others away, we must invite them into our grief and sadness, make it okay to talk about. If we are shy or awkward, invite others into that party that is awkwardness. We really have a choice. We have to be cool with all of ourselves the way we are or like at least 75% of ourselves. How can anyone else be?

  • HouseTalkN

    I love you. I love you. I love you. 

  • http://www.angelashelton.com/ Angela Shelton

    I’m so glad you do that, you are able to meet very cool people that way – usually! 

  • http://ladyjztalkzone.com/ Jacki M SeiWell

    Understanding that  sometimes we are in a place where it doesn’t seem one can get out to socialize more, I will say that the Meet Up online has really brought like minded people together. You find the groups online then meet face to face.  Ours meets once a week and it’s really been great.