I travel so much and spend so much time in airports, train stations etc that I’m around a huge amount of people and see breeders everywhere I go. I see people having children, children having children, people having more children and more children and it is mainly, from the way I see it and from what I hear people say, because they think they have to. They believe that’s just what you do, children are on the check list. You get married and have a child. People forget that it is growing a human being, not a lap dog. I’ve spoken to many women in confidence who have told me that they love their children more than anything but if they had it to do over, they wouldn’t have had them when they did. They would have followed their own dreams and parented themselves more first. I speak to many survivors who have children and more children thinking they are going to somehow fix that wound inside them by fixing their own kids. Oh, receipe for trouble…
From what I see on the streets and in the air, this bad parenting and repeating of old patterns comes from a gross lack of spirituality and connectedness. For those who are connected and spreading love and joy, they are not in a place of lack and need and desperation and having children for all the wrong reasons. I see more people who are just trying to cope and having kids is one way they do that. That leads to those children becoming neglected, resented, unwanted and unloved and guess what – abused! It is children having children.
That said, there are some amazing parents out there, I can very happily say I know some of them. And they are good parents because they love themselves and parent themselves and respect their children as their fellow humans and help them to grow to be the best they can be, not an extension of everything the parents wished they could have been or done themselves.
By the way – I think this “American Girl” that’s out is revolutionizing the world and teaching girls that their role in life is not to wait for the prince to come save them and have his baby. That prince is gay anyway, honey. Follow your dreams first. Your kids will thank you for it. Your inner child will thank you too!
Parent yourself first. Many survivors had no parenting, no real parenting anyway. They were in a house with grown babies who were lost in the fog of their own issues and un-wakefulness. So it is up to us to parent ourselves in many cases. How do you do that?
You take care of yourself by eating, sleeping, pampering and and playing well. You love yourself as if you are the baby, your baby. When you can get to the point (and it takes time) where you love yourself and hold yourself as you would the most precious child – because you are precious!
