Tuesday is Q & A Day but guess what – we were without Internet out here in the country. (notice my new country header?)
Maybe it’s appropriate that the one of the questions you sent in was about holding a gruge. Don’t hold one against me for being late!
Question:
How do you let go of a grudge?
What do I do about people holding grudges against me?
Answer:
According to me (and this is my blog) grudges are right up there with forgiveness. Both have to do with anger. Holding a grudge is just like holding onto rage and anger – it affects one person – you!
Yes, someone may have wronged you, made up lies about you, stolen your furniture, lost your dog, blogged about something you never did or hurt you in a horribly abusive way.
But instead of holding a grudge, how about just avoid those people?
Cut toxic people out of your life. You don’t have to sit around thinking about them all the time and have them ruin your playtime.
Avoid toxic people and move on. That’s much easier than holding a grudge.
I know, sometimes that’s easier said than done. Sometimes someone is a royal pain in the heart and head.
I was taught by a medical intuitive to say: “I give you divine love and accept only good in return” every time a toxic person’s name or face pops into your mind. It works. Try it.
As for people holding grudges against you, try the same saying because here’s the thing – if someone is holding a grudge against you (or if you are the grudge holder) the feeling of “grudge” probably shows up in a lot of places in their life. Chances are, it’s not all about you.
I can hear you say: “But wait, that person wronged me. They hurt me. They’re horrible.”
Yeah, and? You know what I hear when you say that? Anger. And you know what I say? It’s perfectly okay to be angry.
Didn’t think I’d say that, did you?
People are forever telling us to let go of anger and give love and move on and you know what, sometimes you’re angry and you need to vent. You need to go beat the sofa or run 10 miles screaming the whole way.
You need to tell someone how you feel about how they hurt you. Do it. Let it out. Purge it.
But holding a grudge is keeping anger in you for much longer than necessary. A grudge is when the grudge holder lets the anger spill over into many other places in their lives. The grudge holder is the one who gets sick, twisted, upset, pent up and none of that has any affect on the person they are upset with. Instead it becomes a annoying to everyone around them because their grudge is usually all the talk about.
If you’re holding a grudge, think about how much time you use thinking about it. How much space does that old stuff take up in your brain?
Think about how the word “grudge” feels for a second. Not pretty, right? It’s heavy, dark and has a yucky feeling.
I’ve said it many times but the word “squish” is a giggle word. It’s pretty hard to say squish and be mad. Try it.
That affirmation above and saying I love you, squish (in your head) really can counter the grudge feeling – whether it’s you holding it or someone holding it against you.
Plus, (here’s a biggie) when you look at the big picture (and I mean seriously big picture like go out and look at the stars) – you may see that whatever seems like a huge deal may not be worth fretting over at all.
All is in divine order.
Purge your anger and let go of the grudges – it’s only hurting you.
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